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6 Factors that Increase the Risk of Child Sexual Abuse

While the risk of sexual abuse is relevant for all children, there are certain factors that may increase the risk of children being sexually abused. Understanding these risk factors will help keep you alert and strengthen your intuition and awareness as a parent.

Here are six factors that significantly increase the risks of child sexual abuse:

01

Lack of Information about Healthy Sexual Development

A lot of times, parents want to shield their children from the topic of sex, thinking that their children are safer if they just don’t know. The thing to remember is that children will likely hear about sex no matter what. It is always best for them to hear about it from you first.

Children who lack the necessary information about healthy sexual development are at a higher risk of abuse because they cannot discern between unhealthy and healthy sexual behaviors or whether or not something is age-appropriate. Also, children who don't feel confident about approaching their parents about the topic of sex tend to believe what their friends tell them, or worse, the internet and media.

Work to have frequent conversations with your children about healthy sexual development. Give them real world examples of what is healthy and what isn’t healthy. Always let your children know they can approach you with any questions.

02

Unsupervised Access to Technology

Children with unsupervised access to technology are at a higher risks of being abused. This is due to the fact that perpetrators of sexual abuse often target children electronically before physically. This includes creating intimate relationships on social media.

This is why monitoring your children’s tech use is vital to protecting them. Keep an open conversation about technology in your family. Know the apps your children use. Always work to stay informed on the latest social media trends.

03

Being Insecure or Lonely

Children who are insecure or struggle with self-esteem are more vulnerable to being abused. One of the classic patterns perpetrators of sexual abuse use is to give on-on-one attention to children. They love to gain their trust and make them feel special. Children who are lonely or vulnerable long for this level of attention and will take it from anyone who offers it.

Stay attuned to how your children are feeling. Always have open conversations about how they feel. Be sure to keep tabs on who their friends are, and who they speak to online.

04

Special Needs

Overall, children with disabilities are more likely to be victims of sexual abuse. For children with intellectual and mental health disabilities, the likelihood increases even more. This might be because perpetrators view them as easier targets because they struggle with communication.

If your child has special needs, don’t hold back on teaching him or her healthy touch and sexual development. If they have troubles communicating, teach specific signs they can use when they feel threatened or in trouble. Teach this important information on a level in which they can understand.

05

Explicit Media Exposure

Children exposed to explicit media are more likely to be sexually abused. Explicit media includes videos, music, television, innuendos, and pictures. A lot of explicit material normalizes abuse and gives a distorted picture of sex. This type of material teaches children that unhealthy sexual behavior is normal and should be expected giving way for perpetrators to take advantage.

Make sure to monitor your child’s technology. Take measures to block such material from phones and computers. Also, teach your child about healthy sexual development and teach them the dangers of watching, listening, or reading explicit material.

06

Unsupervised Time with Others

Children who are left unsupervised with teens or adults have a higher risk of abuse. The biggest risk is in single-parent or working-parent households where the parents must leave a child alone with coaches, instructors, teachers, babysitters, or family friends.

This is why staying educated on the patterns perpetrators use is important. Learn the signs of sexual abuse. Trust your intuition as a parent. If something doesn’t feel right, there is a good chance you’re right. Teach your children about healthy touch and healthy sexual development. Always, let them know that they can confide in you without being judged.

Understanding these factors and taking an active role in lowering the risk of sexual abuse for your children will lower the chances of your child ever being sexually abused. You as a parent or caretaker hold the greatest power of prevention.

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8 Myths About Child Sexual Abuse

When myths about child sexual abuse are accepted as truth, survivors may be more likely to stay silent.

In order to break the silence and lower the risk of sexual abuse, you need to know the truth about sexual abuse. Below are eight myths that we should all work to dispel:

Myth #1: Sexual Abuse Always Includes Physical Contact

Sexual abuse includes non-physical contact as well. Perpetrators may expose children to pornography or participate in acts of voyeurism. These can potentially have the same long-term effects on a child as physical sexual abuse.

Myth #2: Sexual Abuse Only Happens to Girls

Even though abuse of boys is not discussed as often, 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they are 18 years old. Your sons need your protection just like your daughters need it.

Myth #3: Stranger Danger is the Biggest Cause of Sexual Abuse

Many times, perpetrators are people we interact with on a regular basis. It has been reported that 90 percent of those who are abused knew their abuser. 60 percent are abused by a trusted family friend and 30 percent are abused by a family member. While stranger danger is a risk, it is by no means the biggest risk.

Myth #4: Sexual Abuse Only Occurs in White Vans or Dark Alleys

Sexual abuse can (and does) occur anywhere children are, including schools, churches, community centers, or at home. Sexual abuse can even take place online. This is why it is important to always be on alert and always have an ongoing dialogue about the risks of abuse with your children.

Myth #5: Sexual Abuse is Always Reported to Authorities

Due to the shame that accompanies this subject, many cases of sexual abuse go unreported. Fewer than 12% of cases are reported to the proper authorities. Much of this is due to the fact that perpetrators threaten harm in order to protect their abuse. Even worse, families often sweep it under the rug after the child comes forward, causing additional damage.

Myth #6: Sex Trafficking Doesn’t Happen in Your Community

Trafficking happens in every community. According to DoSomething.org, between 14,500 and 17,500 people are trafficked in the U.S. each year. The average age a child enters the sex trade in the U.S. is 12–14 years old. It doesn’t matter how big or small the city you live in is; trafficking is taking place within your community.

Myth #7: Survivors Always Become Abusers

It is reported that 30% of survivors of child sexual abuse will become perpetrators themselves. However, this risk is significantly reduced if the survivor receives help. For this reason, the stigma surrounding this important subject needs to disappear. Everyone needs to stand up and help children find the healing they need after abuse. It is possible to break the cycle.

Myth #8: Sexual Abuse Will Happen and I Can’t Do Anything to Stop It

Educated parents and caregivers can significantly reduce the likelihood of sexual abuse. Taking actions to stay informed about how to prevent, recognize, and respond to sexual abuse will help equip you with the tools you need to protect your children. Also, keeping an open dialogue with your children about healthy sexuality will help give your children the confidence they need to confide in you about this sensitive subject.

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6 Perpetrator Grooming Behaviors Every Parent Needs to Know

Perpetrators of child sexual abuse are not those scary men who lurk around playgrounds looking for opportunities. In fact, according to the Crimes Against Children Research Center, 90% of children who are sexually abused know their perpetrator.

Perpetrators of sexual abuse are anywhere and everywhere. They are charismatic everyday people who earn the trust of others. They could be a staff member at your child’s school; they could be your child’s coach or music instructor; they could be at your church; they could be the nanny; they could be your very own family member.

The truth is that sexual perpetrators look and act like any other “normal” person. It can be difficult to pick them out.

However, there are things that almost all perpetrators have in common: they often use certain behaviors to groom a child for abuse. These behaviors are methodical, subtle, gradual, and escalating (meaning they intensify as time goes by). We typically refer to these as grooming behaviors.

While this might be frightening to think about, knowing these grooming patterns will help you to know how to identify grooming behavior, strengthen your parenting intuition, and help significantly lower the risk of your child being sexually abused and recognize signs of grooming behavior.

Six common grooming behaviors that every parent needs to know:

01

Forming Relationships

Perpetrators seek to form relationships with children. They usually spend their spare time with children and tend to be more interested in forming relationships with children than adults.

They will single out one child as “special” and give him or her extra attention and gifts as a way to form a bond between them. They will take a special interest in a child’s look and dress and may take excessive pictures of the child.

02

Testing Boundaries

Perpetrators will try to test the boundaries of your child’s comfort levels. Sometimes they will tell off-colored or sexualized jokes to see how the child will respond. They may try to play sexualized games such as pants-ing, truth-or-dare, or strip games.

They will see how the child reacts when they enter a child’s room or normal places where children are expected to have privacy, such as the restroom.

Perpetrators thrive in secrecy, and testing boundaries helps them know if they can continue without being caught.

03

Touching

Perpetrators will test the boundaries of touch with your child. They usually begin with non-sexual touches such as high-fives and hugging. They may slowly progress to inappropriate touching such as accidentally grazing a private part of the body, just to see how the child will react. They may kiss or have the child sit on their lap.

The thing to note is they will move from very innocent touching and progress to more sexual touching in order to test the reaction of the child.

04

Intimidating

Perpetrators use intimidation in order to keep the child from telling another person about the abuse. They will begin by testing the child’s reaction to being blamed for something simple. They will see if the child pushes back or tells an adult. Then they will progress to threatening the child or causing a child to feel a sense of guilt.

They often use fear or embarrassment to keep a child from telling another person about the abuse. They may use statements such as, “No one will believe you,” or threaten them with danger (or danger to someone they love) to keep them from telling.

05

Sharing Sexually Explicit Material

Perpetrators often share sexualized material in order to normalize sex. They will use sexual terms freely in the presence of your child. They will show sexualized pictures or videos. They will often begin a sexualized relationship through messaging or texting first.

06

Communicating Secretly

Perpetrators will look for any communication channel to communicate with a child secretly. Often these interactions begin online. They often encourage texting, emailing and all calls to be secret. Remember perpetrators thrive in secrecy, so they will always encourage the child to keep everything silent.

A Disclaimer

It is common to read these grooming behavior signs and identify people who do some of these things, but that doesn’t automatically make them a perpetrator. The goal of talking and being informed about these grooming behaviors is to strengthen your intuition and help you be on alert.

With that said, if you ever see these behaviors and feel like something is wrong, you can use a strategy we call “confronting with kindness” to help protect your child. Confronting with kindness includes only two steps:

01
Pull the person aside and explain the boundaries you have established for your child and why you have them.
02
Ask them to support you in those boundaries.

If the individual did the behavior innocently, they will likely be very apologetic and in the future keep those boundaries. If the individual is, in fact, a perpetrator, they will be put on high alert, and it is rare that they would continue to groom your child. If perpetrators know you are watching, they will usually stop targeting your child.

The number one thing to remember is that you are responsible to stay informed, and take an active part in your child’s life.

You can do this. The simple actions you take to stay informed can be the very things that protect your child from danger.

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