Getting consent is about checking in with someone to make sure you both want and agree to the same thing. Consider these questions to help you better think about if the other person is actually into it, or if maybe it’s not the right time, place, or person.

Power Differences

If you are more mature than someone or have more power or authority (like being more popular or the one driving), others may feel obligated to go along with you even when they don’t want to.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • Am I older than them?

  • Do I have power or privilege over them?

  • Am I bribing them with gifts or promises?

  • Is their judgement impaired (by lack of sleep, drugs, or alcohol, development, etc.)?

Body Talk

Sometimes people have different ideas about how to communicate interest or consent. Listening to both verbal and nonverbal communication can help you.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • How can I tell they want to do this?

  • Even if they said yes, are there signs they don’t want to do this (uncertain tone of voice, turning away, crying, etc.)?

  • Do they fully understand what I’m asking of them?

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