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If you’ve found yourself in the difficult situation of either knowing or suspecting that sexual abuse is happening, you may have questions or hesitations about reporting the abuse. However, it is important to report what is going on so that the abuse will stop and all those involved can be connected with the resources they need to begin recovering and healing.

We don’t want to downplay how hard and scary it can be to face the prospect of reporting sexual abuse. There are numerous reasons that you might not want to report. The perpetrator could be someone you love and care about, including a family member or even a child or teenager. You might feel like reporting will be disruptive and the abuse is none of your business. You might tell yourself that you should be absolutely certain that abuse is happening before you report.

Despite the legitimate concerns you may have, consider what’s at stake for the child who is being abused. Children who experience trauma like sexual abuse can suffer consequences for the rest of their lives. You need to do what you can to stop that trauma from occurring, and if sexual abuse has occurred, continuing. Here are some practical questions you might have about reporting in the United States.

There are other resources out there to help if you still have questions about reporting and if you need support throughout the process.

Stop it Now: 1-888-PREVENT (888-773-2362).

Childhelp: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453).

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One obstacle for many parents when it comes to teaching their child about healthy sexual development is what to teach, and when. We want to help provide you with an outline of things that you may consider teaching at different age ranges. Of course some children are more or less mature than their peers and you should adjust your talks accordingly.

Children from ages 9 to 12, sometimes called “tweens,” may be dealing with a great many physical and hormonal changes. On average, girls are 10 or 11 years old and boys are 11 or 12 years old when puberty begins. With puberty comes heightened sexuality and a greater awareness of sex in the media. By discussing the items below, you’ll help them continue to develop a healthy view of sexuality.

Tweens may also have questions that they bring to you on their own—don’t shut them down! Answer them to the best of your ability and engage in a conversation. They will be more likely to come to you with problems if you are supportive of their questions.

This can be a difficult time for tweens and parents alike. A lot of things may be shifting in your relationship. Your child is pushing toward greater autonomy and you need to find the balance between giving them their freedom and keeping them safe. The greatest asset at this age will be open communication between you and your child. Encourage them to come to you with questions and problems. Let them know that you’re there for them and continue to be a safe person for them to confide in.

Remember, conversations don’t have to be perfect. Every time you do it you’ll become a little more comfortable, as will your child. The benefits of just trying will amaze you.

Talking to Your Kids at All Ages

You can talk to your child about healthy sexual development no matter the age. Below we have links to articles about what you should cover in each age range. Always take the time to think through what you’re going to say and remember to keep your child’s maturity in mind. And remember, every time you have a little talk it makes it a little easier to have the next one.